The First Big Weekend

Pushed down by a slab of white and with water collecting and plugging my ears, I tried to convince myself that everything was alright.

Nothing has felt normal or natural since the moment I stepped into this living forest. I don't dislike the place but I don't like it either.

This forest is exactly what I wanted when I was fourteen and wasn't scared of anything. Six years later and I am scared. It isn't even fear alone, it is pure blind panic everyday. Every god damned day I feel like I am on the verge of a complete mental collapse, and I know it is all so fucking unreasonable. To pretend Pan isn't laying around in wait for me in some faux Greek vegetation is useless. I will have a few drinks in the waiting room, Pan wont be here for long.